


If, When

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Asking Out, Awkward Luke, Friends to more, M/M, Pick Up Lines, Ridiculousness, Stupidity, Wooing, based off a tumblr prompt, index cards, some mentions of sex/sexual conotations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 18:30:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2662100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"By now, Luke was shaking. He decided to get this over with, and not reply to what Ashton had said. 'Hey… so, uh…' Right, the note cards. He took them out, and looked at the one on top. It also happened to be the first one he’d seen on the internet, that he thought was so genius at the time. Hopefully, it really was. 'Did you uh, did… you fall out of heaven because um…' Wait, shit, he totally fucked that one up. That was not the line. That was totally not the line. Amidst his distress he dropped all his cards. This was the worst game of fifty two pickup he had to play, but instead of playing cards, it was fifty-two pickup lines.  Immediately, he stumbled out a vulgar apology. 'Shit fuck oh my god fuck I’m so sorry you’re-you’re just so attractive I’m so-' ”</p><p>Luke tries to pull his long term crush with pick up lines, and fails drastically, but somehow it works?</p>
            </blockquote>





	If, When

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so this is based off a tumblr prompt (http://zalpies.tumblr.com/post/101473104328/lashton-fic-prompt) I re-blogged it, and in the tags, asked whether or not I should write it. Someone said I should, and here's how it turned out.

Luke was terrible at memorizing things.

It was a curse, really. For him, you always needed to plan what he was going to say. He really struggled with impromptu. His crush had once said this about him.

His crush was someone he’d known for a couple of years. He met him at the movie theater a few years ago when the guys he just so happened to be with decided to make fun of his fluorescent sunglasses (which until then had been a big hit, so he didn’t know why the guys didn’t approve) and haircut. Ashton stepped in and told them to cut the crap. Luke was immediately in awe because not only was this guy one of the most attractive he had ever seen, he also didn’t mind standing up for someone like Luke. Afterward, he told Luke that his glasses and his hair were something to admire, but amidst admiring Ashton so much, Luke had forgotten the reason why they were talking in the first place.

Later, Luke found out that they had some mutual friends. Luke’s friend Michael at school (whom he had just become friends with recently after years of disliking for little reason other than a mishap with a girl they both liked) was friends with Ashton as well. Luke and Michael played music together, and Michael’s friend Calum joined them at times. Michael invited Ashton over to jam. 

From what he made it sound like, Ashton circumnavigated the globe twice on his damn push bike before arriving at the jam session. He showed up in a lavender shirt that Michael and Calum made blatantly clear they thought was tacky, but secretly, Luke thought it looked amazing against his tan skin, with his blonde hair. Luke thought Ashton looked like a flower. But he didn’t tell him that, couldn’t tell him that. He couldn’t stare too long at Ashton’s drumming without being creepy. But god, how he wanted to. He didn’t want the stupid boundaries that made some things he did to Ashton unacceptable with their friendship. He wanted to be able to kiss and touch Ashton in a way that friends wouldn’t. But Luke was an awkward, pasty little dude and Ashton was older, developed, and hot and this wouldn’t work. 

They continued practicing, and even started posting videos of themselves doing so on the internet. Some of them got attention, and they even got to briefly go on tour with Hot Chelle Rae. But the real world hit them like a train, and they realized that this was not a career path. So it was off to college they went, albeit reluctantly. 

They all happened to go to the same college. They were only really going to college to study and for more job opportunities. Ashton had a college job as a house painter, and was looking to become a music teacher. Calum and Michael wanted to go into the music production and recording business if the actual music really wasn’t an option. 

Luke wanted to teach English. He had a dream that him and Ashton would end up teaching at the same school and Ashton, not being able to find love elsewhere, would go to him. Perhaps this involved sneaking around the school, trying to hide their romance from the students. But these were merely fantasies. Luke, having entered college a couple of years after Ashton had four years to go until it was over, whereas Ashton had two. Who knew where they would be after college.

So naturally, Luke decided he should make the best of his time in college, and just go ahead and ask Ashton out. It wasn’t like he was asking out a stranger; they were friends. They spoke often. Ashton seemed to enjoy filming Luke, which was how he found out how much he struggled with impromptu. Once in a blue moon, they’d stare at each other. That was a lie, Luke couldn’t remember the last time him and Ashton were together without staring at each other for at least ten minutes in all. So, Luke knew it was about time to muster up his courage and knock down these unnecessary boundaries, god dammit. 

If, of course, Ashton agreed to this. 

Luke thought about how Ashton had said that he struggled with impromptu. He knew that if he walked up to Ashton and opened his mouth to pop the question, nothing would come out, and he’d leave Ashton guessing. That, or he would stutter for about a half an hour straight before deciding to leave it.

“What do I do, Calum?” he asked (moaned), defeated, in the cafeteria during dinnertime.

“You’ve been dragging this on for far too long,” Calum responded, taking a sip of his juice. He saw that Luke and Ashton actually liked each other, and how they were so blind to each other’s affection for one another. Sure, Ashton had never blatantly mentioned to Calum that he wanted to woo Luke, but he just wasn’t that kind of person. He probably didn’t think that he had a chance, so he just admired him from afar. Calum too, was getting tired of it, and wanted it to change. 

Luke sighed. “I know. Perhaps this would have been easier had I done it earlier.”

“Just do it now. It can’t be that difficult. Just come out with it, and he’ll say yes.”

“But what if he says no? It will totally ruin all of our friendships, all because I couldn’t hold my damn tongue for one second-”

Now it was Calum’s turn to sigh. “You both are stupid. He clearly likes you! The chances of him saying no are marginal at best. He hasn’t been on a date in a while, and he hasn’t shown interest in anyone else.”

“But how am I supposed to do it? I don’t think that just asking him is an option. I’ll be like ‘do you want to go out?’ and he’ll be like ‘what?’ and I’ll be like ‘I meant outside, with me?’ and then I’ll try and fail about a million more times before giving up, ‘cause I’m stupid.”

Calum looked at him with judgement. “That won’t happen. How hard can it be? Look, if you must, plan what you are going to say. Practice it. Or, you can make your intentions clear but not completely clear by flirting.”

Luke wrinkled his nose. “I don’t even know how to flirt. Do you just compliment a person repeatedly?”

“No, although it would be good to include that when you ask him out.”

“Come to think of it, I don’t think I want to just blatantly ask him out. I think I want to try the whole flirting thing first.” Luke then gasped, and his eyes widened. “I have an idea! Pick up lines!”

Calum rolled his eyes extra hard at that one. “Pick up lines are old and overused. No one even reacts to them anymore. Friends use them on each other as a joke.”

“Yeah, but it would be cute. And when he says no, I can play it off as a joke.”

“If that’s what you want to do. And that is a very strong if my friend, not a when.”

“Alright, but I really need to plan what I’m going to say, because I won’t remember otherwise.”  
“If you want to make an entire presentation out of this, use index cards or something like that.”

“That’s a great idea!” Luke got up from his seat. “I’ll go get some.”

“I wasn’t serious, but…” Calum trailed off when Luke walked away, seeing it was no use. He was actually going to go through with this asinine scenario. “Whatever.”

Luke came back to the table with some index cards in hand. “Alright, let’s do this,” he said, taking out a pen. “What are some good pick up lines? Should I do the ‘your ass is out of this world’ one? No, that’s too creepy and cliche.”

Calum stood up. “Everyones packing up, and I’m tired. Also, this is getting out of hand. Dinner’s over, time to go,” Calum urged Luke.

Luke sighed. “I’ll finish this tonight then. But this isn’t over.”

“Didn’t think it was.”  
\----------  
That night in his room, Luke sat at his desk, tapping his pen against the index card repeatedly. He tried as hard as he could to think of good pick up lines, but without luck. He decided he had to use the internet, because there was no way he was original or creative enough to woo Ashton without help.

On a shady website with ads popping up everywhere, he found one that said “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Perhaps it was just because it was three A.M when he found the line and the lack of sleep was making him slightly delirious, but at the time, it sounded genius. He wrote it down, along with many other pick up lines and compliments that flooded his brain and the internet. Anything that he thought of or found; cheesy song lyrics, more pick up lines, hook up lines, compliments, jokes that he definitely wouldn’t remember or find nearly as clever tomorrow...he wrote. By the end of the night, he’d used almost half the pack. He planned on studying them a thousand times over, but unfortunately, was fast asleep before that could happen.  
\----------  
Luke woke up the next morning with his head on his desk, and a pain in his neck and at the back of his head. For a moment, he forgot where he was and what had happened, but then he found out that he was drooling on an index card. The ink was smudged from the drool. He picked up the card, and read it.

“Do you live on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock!”

What kind of sicko would write a pick up line as borderline creepy as that one? And why was it on his desk? Luke thought this before remembering last night’s conquests, and mentally cursed himself for writing down that pick up line. Reading many of the other ones, he realized they were just as bad, if not worse. But he’d need them. They were all he had. He had to resort to the worst pickup lines to woo a guy he had been after for years now. He looked at his life, and frowned. At least he had good music taste.

He brushed his teeth, got dressed into something presentable, gathered his cards into a pile, and stuck them in his pocket before heading down to the cafeteria. He’d definitely need lots of coffee. He wondered why he didn’t drink any last night, and why his sanity betrayed him so.  
\----------  
“Hey,” said Calum, who was sitting next to his long time friend Michael. “Rough night?”

Luke sat down with his coffee, and sipped it slowly, staring into space (or derping, as some would call it. Some idiots like himself). “You can’t imagine.” 

“Don’t tell me you spent all night writing down lame ass pick up lines to use today,” said Calum, his voice laced with sarcastic surprise. “Is that’s what’s in your pockets?”

“Is it really that noticeable?” asked Luke.

“I’d say yes. You’re sporting some pretty fat pockets today,” said Michael.

“May I explain?” asked Calum. Luke nodded, having no energy to protest. Michael knew Luke liked Ashton anyhow. Calum explained, and Michael laughed.

“I mean, good luck I guess. I agree that it’s pretty clear he likes you, but good luck trying anyhow.”

“When should I do it?” asked Luke. 

“Whenever you’re ready,” replied Calum.

“So...never?”

Michael sighed. “Luke, life’s too short not to tell the people you like that you do. Life’s too short to miss out on the benefits of a relationship with someone you like. Especially if it’s so obvious they like you back.”

Luke sat back. “Whatever. So anyway, when’s Ashton available? You should know, you’re his roommate.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know his damn schedule!” Luke glared at him, and Michael gave in. “I think he’s free after his last class, which I believe he has with you. Just ask if you can come back to the dorm with him, and use your cards on him. Make them work their magic or whatever.”

“I’d say, surprise him. Knock on his door, and then ask. Don’t make him expect it. It will work best that way,” suggested Calum, following Michael’s suggestion. Luke didn’t know what to think of it, but thought it sounded good enough. It was a plan.

“I wonder if he cursed the cards with some weird spell he found on the internet last night,” Calum thought aloud, partially to himself. Luke whacked him on the head lightly, and, having finished his coffee, got up.

“See you guys later.”  
\----------  
After going back from class, changing his outfit thrice, restyling his hair twice, and stuffing his cards into his pocket, he headed over to Ashton’s dorm. Having gone multiple times, he was quite familiar with it at this point. But now, he would see it in a whole new light. If he was lucky, he’d be back there.

He put his hands in his pockets, around the cards, silently praying that they’d work. After all, he’d worked hard on them. He was excited to arrive at Ashton’s door, but at the same time, hoped he never got there.  
\----------  
To his luck, he got there, and spent about two minutes outside, silently cursing and praying to himself before knocking on the door, probably a little bit too loud.

He heard shuffling and footsteps before he heard the door unlock, and saw it open. In the doorway, he was Ashton, leaning against it, smiling as if Luke wasn’t about to ruin his own life.

“Hey, what’s up? We haven’t spoken in a bit,” said Ashton expectantly.

By now, Luke was shaking. He decided to get this over with, and not reply to what Ashton had said. “Hey… so, uh…” Right, the note cards. He took them out, and looked at the one on top. It also happened to be the first one he’d seen on the internet, that he thought was so genius at the time. Hopefully, it really was. “Did you uh, did… you fall out of heaven because um…” Wait, shit, he totally fucked that one up. That was not the line. That was totally not the line. Amidst his distress he dropped all his cards. This was the worst game of fifty two pickup he had to play, but instead of playing cards, it was fifty-two pickup lines. Immediately, he stumbled out a vulgar apology. “Shit fuck oh my god fuck I’m so sorry you’re-you’re just so attractive I’m so-”

“Can we fuck?” asked Ashton. This really caught Luke’s attention. Luke looked up from his mess of cards on the floor to see Ashton looking dazed and endeared at the same time. 

He blushed furiously at Ashton’s forwardness before picking up his cards, and searching them furiously. “I um...don’t have a card for...this,” he said, continuing his search.

Ashton sighed, and laughed. “That was awful forward of me. I apologize. But you’re being a bit too cute to handle right now. It just slipped out.”

“Like my damn cards,” said Luke, shaking his head. “The plan was that I’d use one on you, but along with everything else, I screwed that up. I’ve had a massive crush on you for years now...so, yeah.” Luke avoided Ashton’s stare as he said this. Wow, just coming out with it was easier than he thought. The pick up lines were a bad idea, his awkwardness ruined them. He stuffed them back in his pocket.

“Wow,” said Ashton, smiling fondly at Luke. “That was...that was certainly a show. It worked, what can I say? Someone does stuff like that to me, I fuck them on the spot. But it’s you, so it’s better.”

“Wow, you’re very forward.” Ashton just kept smiling. “So, um what I was going to ask you is uh…” Shit. Did he really forget again? He started to reach for his cards, but Ashton put his hand on Luke’s and pulled it away.

“Forget the cards. Is seven o’clock saturday okay?”

Luke stared at him, and blinked, before realizing that he was supposed to reply. “Uh, yeah that’s good yeah.” Realizing that he actually had a date set up with Ashton, he looked down at the ground, and tried to hide his enthusiastic smile.

“Cool. Can’t wait. Until then, wanna hang out? You can share some more of those cards you wrote with me?”

Luke looked up, nodded, and didn’t even bother deciding to hide his smile. So, his awkwardness didn’t ruin his life! In fact, it only made it better.

To his surprise, Ashton put his arms around Luke’s neck, and being a few inches shorter, smiled up at him. “Finally. I thought you’d never ask. Or I thought I’d have to, which I really wasn’t quite ready to do.”

Luke put both his hands on Ashton’s waist. “Well, seeing how bad I fucked up, it really couldn’t have gone worse than that.”

“Are you kidding?” Ashton sighed, and rested his forehead on Luke’s shoulder. “It couldn’t have gone better.”  
\----------  
Two years later, and Luke and Ashton had moved in together. Luke was in the middle of college, and Ashton had a job at the local elementary school teaching music. 

It was nice, living with Ashton. They cuddled, joked around, and had sex as loud as they pleased. Luke often pinched himself, remembering how this was real. He had actually woo’d his long-term crush with his incompetence. He remembered it often, and wanted Ashton to as well. He also wanted to show how comfortable he was around Ashton now, and how he wasn’t the person he was when he knocked on his dorm that one day.

So a few months after they moved in together, Ashton started finding cards with pick up lines all over the place. In his underwear drawer, on the mirror, even taped to the lube bottle when they were about to use it (the one taped to the lube bottle said “Do you live on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock!”. Ashton thought it was ridiculous, and laughed so hard they couldn’t continue that night. Luke was mad, and blamed himself for putting the card there). The cards never failed to put a fond smile on his face - especially in the morning when he was at his moodiest. 

And he knew exactly where, when, and who they were from.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr's morelashton. Thanks for reading


End file.
